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Post by gallito on Nov 10, 2015 21:25:35 GMT -5
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended.
I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his private parts with black shoe polish.
I said to him,
"You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".
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Post by barrumundi on Nov 11, 2015 11:29:10 GMT -5
I knew there had to be a better answer than "I'm having a senior moment"
So this is the answer!
Brains of older people are slow because they know so much . People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe .
Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information
when their brains are full.
Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline . The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time.
The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.
Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.
SO THERE .
Now when I reach for a word or a name , I won't excuse myself by saying "I'm having a senior moment".
Now, I'll say, "My disk is full!"
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Post by gallito on Nov 12, 2015 19:54:05 GMT -5
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice boobs"
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Post by gallito on Nov 12, 2015 19:56:14 GMT -5
An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist for Viagra.
The pharmacist said, "That's no problem. How many do you want?"
The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."
The pharmacist said "That won't do you any good."
The elderly gentleman said "That's all right. I don't need them for sex anymore, as I'm over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes".
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